Why Your Appearance Only Plays a Small Role in Attracting Women
When I entered my University years, I started noticing average looking males walking with attractive women.
After many months questioning how average looking males could get beautiful women chasing them, I noticed that it took more than just your appearance to attract beautiful women.
Obviously every woman is different and some women may like you JUST for your appearance, money, or whatnot.
I can’t point to the fact that these women were talking to these males because they were good listeners and knew how to connect with women, but it does help in creating attraction.
I used to believe that if I looked good in appearance, women would just crawl to me and would want to SLEEP with me. Maybe it could happen to you, but it never happened to me in University.
That was my problem with attracting women, I thought that I would have to do no work at all because I was decent looking and that women would just “like” me. This belief was created during my high school days.
A few girls used to have crushes on me that I have never talked to. This made me believe that all it took was to have good looks and girls would come running to you. This worked until I got into my University years, where I made a lot of mistakes with women based on my false beliefs.
Through all my mistakes, I found out that maybe I should just talk to women like they’re regular people.
This had started happening near the end of my University years, I actually wanted to know more about the women I would meet. I was genuinely curious about people and so whenever I met women, I asked them about their passions, hobbies, and whatever they loved talking about.
For example, I met a woman who was studying for her CFA, and so we started talking about the markets, which I really enjoyed because it’s a topic that I have lots of interest in as well. I felt like we created a good connection that was far better than using a canned pick-up line and giving outright compliments.
Once again, every woman is different and some women may love pick-up lines or whatnot.
Moving on, the conversations used to be 70% her talking and 30% me listening, and I noticed that whenever I stopped talking to her for a few days, she would message me first and start up a conversation. This was something new because not a lot of girls used to text me first!
I noticed that being genuinely curious about women and asking them deeper questions really helped make a good connection with them. And no, I was not doing this just to get in their pants, I really did want to know more about them.
I realized that letting girls do MOST of the talking when you first meet her will actually play a role in her becoming attracted you, which I discovered by a mere fluke.
The moral of the story is that most women will be attracted a man that knows how to be a good listener and knows how to make a connection with her.
Just a quick summary, you should always try to dig deeper when you are having a conversation with a woman.
For example, if she says she wants to become a doctor, ask her WHY she wants to become one and what she loves about her dream job.
If she talks about classes she’s taking, ask her how those classes are and ask questions about what she’s talking about.
If you don’t take any action after building a connection with her, you could end up in the friend zone.
Building attraction first is important, but you also have to make progress after that in terms of asking her out on a date and moving forward after that.
Until next time,
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