Why You Should Never Settle in Life
There are some times that I want to go back to being my old self just so I can be around my friends. Have people to go out with, and not be lonely.
But why is this?
It has to do with being comfortable. Many times we get stuck in life because we get comfortable in our situation. Why work harder? Go out? Talk to women at all?
You’re comfortable being who you are. You sit on your couch, in front of your computer, playing video games and watching mind numbing TV (or perhaps watching internet porn ). What’s the shame in that?
There’s none really if you want to be just like everyone else. You give up your time to work a 9-5 job, for a lousy salary, and a mediocre existence. You’re comfortable with all your friends, they’re just like you. They work the same dead end job for a company that can fire them at any moment.
You’re comfortable with your ho-hum girlfriend; she likes you, so that’s all that should matter right? Why try harder to get a more attractive and interesting woman?
You‘ re comfortable with how you look so why go to the gym and lose that extra 20lbs you have sitting on your gut? Who’s judging you?
Life is comfortable. Why work harder at all? We don’t have to hunt for our food or drive off predators. We have it pretty easy when you think about it.
I’m going to tell you a personal story, something that happened recently to me in my own life. Not too long ago I was going to weekly meet up with other artists and designers here in town. It was fun at first. I hadn’t had a group of friends in a long time and I thought we had a lot in common. Then something started to happen. I fell upon Malcolm’s and other top dating coaches work and really started to open my eyes to what was happening in my life. Instead of listening to music while I worked from home, I would listen to seminars, dating coaches, people that were turning my life around. It started to sink in. I knew that I could be better than this.
I would go back to my meet up and tell my friends about all the stuff I had been learning. At first they thought it was cool, but somewhat silly. Most of them were like me, comfortable in their situations. They had average careers, average hobbies, average dating lives (if they were even dating at all), or in solid relationships. But I wanted more. I don’t want to be average. I want to be special and know that I’m doing something that will leave a mark on others in the future.
Each week I would go back, excited to tell them what I had learned, but found they would lose interest and go back to talking about video games and anime cartoons. The few hobbies I did share (like my love of comic books) seemed non-interesting to them. Soon I found myself outside their topic of conversations, not having much to contribute. They stopped inviting me to go on trips, have dinner, or other social gatherings.
I watched their base line body language change towards me. Instead of wide eyed, high arched greetings; I was getting squints and fake smiles. The girls in the group would talk to me less, now that I understood what they were really all like. Finally, I felt out of place with the group and realized that it was time for me to leave. In all honesty, I could tell they didn’t like me. The guys were getting jealous of me for changing my life, the girls were uncomfortable because I knew how to turn them on and get them interested in me.
So why do things like this happen?
First of all, and while I’m sadden to say this, your friends don’t want you to succeed. Neither does your family, your girlfriend, your boss at work, and sometimes even YOU yourself.
Your friends are comfortable with you working a 9-5 dead end job. Your family is comfortable with you being ordinary and plain. Your girlfriend is comfortable with you being normal, because she doesn’t have to worry about you leaving her for a hotter woman. Your boss is comfortable knowing that he has power to fire you and that you’ll always show up on time to do your job. Those hot girls at the gym are comfortable knowing that you’ll never have the guts to go near them. They already know that you’re just like every other guy they’ve met.
They don’t want you to change; they don’t want you to make a better and fuller life for yourself. They want you to stay the same.
Do you still want to be comfortable and ordinary?
I doubt it if you’re coming to sites like this. You know that there is more to life and that you’re missing out. You’re missing out on traveling the world, having an awesome career where you are your own boss; you’re missing out on all those beautiful women that want an EXTRA-ordinary man, not a John Doe.
When you set out on your path to change, everyone will resist it. Your friend will want you to stay the same. Go to the same hang out spots, drink the same bad beer, and sit around playing the same shooter game on your PS4 or X Box.
The women in your life will want you to be that friendly nice guy. The guy that never challenges them, pushes their buttons, knows how to turn them on and gets their panties wet. They just want you to be the shoulder to cry on, the one they secretly feel sorry for.
When you start to change, you’ll see who your real friends are. They are ones that want to change with you. They want to see you rise above the challenge. Be better then you are. Look at your successful friends. The ones that got what they wanted. Do you think they did that by being plain and boring? No, they took a risk, did something that everyone told them they would fail at. You need to get up off your chair, go out, and do something with your life.
I lost a group of people I thought were my friends because I was happy being ordinary. I wanted nothing more than just finding a comfortable job, buy a house, and settle down.
I never want to settle. I never want to settle for a boring job, a boring social life, a boring girlfriend. Neither should you.
When you go out and succeed, you’ll be surrounded by likeminded people, attractive women, and a vibrant life that is full of adventure. You will lose people along the way, but in the end, you’ll be better off for it.
Never settle in life. Never settle for mediocre friends, mediocre women. Work hard and you’ll get everything you deserve and much more.
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