Why Nice Guys Fail to Attract Women
You look at your phone and it’s the girl who you’ve been “friends” with for so long…
You answer it and she’s crying to you about some guy she met last week. That was around the same time she told you she wasn’t ready for a relationship.
So get this, she asks you to come over. You think to yourself, “This is finally my chance!” You arrive there only to find out that she just wants to talk and vent…
Then when you try to “finally” make that move, she pushes you away saying you’re “just a friend”.
You’re left with the feeling of frustration and sadness. You think to yourself why won’t this girl love me. You’re frustrated because this girl would rather chase bad boys and assholes. Then you simply give up and just settle for what you can get.
Don’t be this guy, this is what is called a “nice” guy. I’m going to share some reasons for why nice guys fail to attract women and always finish last if at all.
The Reasons Why Nice Guys Fail to Attract Women
Problem factor number one with nice guys is that they are so reliable.
They are there whenever you need them. Whenever assholes are asleep they are constantly awake to assist the love of their life whenever possible.
They’re there to help girls with homework, go shopping with them, buy them food, and a number of useful tasks for women.
Nice guys give girls compliments and uplift their spirits when a bad boy comes and ruins their lives. Nice guys offer the perfect shoulder for a girl to cry on. This is part of the reason why nice guys are known as orbiters because they are constantly around.
Girls love having guy friends who can make them feel better. Everyone wants to feel loved and encouraged, but to a girl that’s all she sees a nice guy as. A nice guy to her is an emotional tissue that gets thrown away after she’s done crying. A nice guy will listen to her problems for HOURS on end. That’s what makes them so reliable because they are constantly around. Whenever you ask a nice guy for help very rarely will they say no.
This is problem factor number two: they’re too nice.
A nice guy doesn’t have anything going on in his life. He’s always free and there to help you with whatever you need. Nice guys don’t know when to say no and that’s how they end up constantly being taken advantage of.
Now back in high school or even early college I remember nice guys constantly doing girls homework for them. Now back then it made sense to help a girl with her homework because then she’ll spend time with you. The only problem is you become known as “The Guy who does Katie’s homework”. It’s never a good thing either.
When you never learn how to say no to women and build boundaries people will take advantage of you. Saying “no” to nonsense you don’t want to do does NOT make you an asshole. I personally hate doing favors and I avoid them at ALL costs, unless it’s a close friend. When you first meet somebody and they’re constantly hitting you up for rides without offering gas money, they’re using you. Whenever one of my friends drives us to a club or venue or something, I’m always putting money into his gas tank.
In high school, I remember hearing a quote that stuck with me. “I don’t want to be a footnote in someone else’s happiness.”
Let that sink in, you help other people enjoy life but you never even lived your OWN life. I’m not saying become a selfish jerk but do have some balance in your life. Take care of the people who take care of you. Don’t let people take advantage of you.
Ask people for gas money when they ask you for a ride. Believe me once you hit them with that, they’ll very rarely ever ask you for a ride again. Once you start making rules like that, people will begin to take you very seriously. Women want to be with a man who they can take seriously and who isn’t a push over.
The third problem factor with nice guys is that they don’t have any drive or ambition.
They listen to other people and never make any decisions of their own. Women don’t want to date followers they want to date leaders. Leaders call all the shots and get all the girls. The nice guy gets sloppy seconds if anything.
The nice guy gets to have a girl after she’s had her fill of a bad boy and she will ONLY date a nice guy for a stable relationship. They love having men buy them stuff and to take care of their children. The reason being is that the nice guy won’t hurt her. He’ll do everything in his power NOT to hurt her.
Here’s some advice: If a woman didn’t want you before her bad boy, don’t date her after her bad boy. She only wants you because she can’t have him and she wants something stable. It may sound harsh, but it’s reality. Don’t pay any attention to movies, romance novels, the media, or any other garbage that fills your head with false information.
Now the problem when you do date a girl after her bad boy is that she’ll get bored. Women hate stability and they seek out change! Women need excitement in their lives. Believe me once a woman gets bored with you she will leave.
Now I’m not saying you have to be a douche bag to get girls. I’m saying that you do have to have a backbone and learn to stand up for yourself. I started standing up for myself and setting my foot down at an early age, I refused to be someone’s lackey or “tool”. I wanted to be chief and run my own life.
There’s a difference between being assertive and being selfish. Assertive people don’t let people take advantage of them. If you don’t feel like helping someone or feel like it’s worth your time say no. When you start focusing on your own life, women pick up on that. Women love when a man has something going on in his life.
It can be any hobby! I have a buddy who’s been in a relationship for a year and a half and he plays dungeons and dragons and weight lifts. My buddy is successful with women because he’s not looking for their approval. He’s living his own life.
I give women the impression that I want them but that I don’t need them. Don’t be desperate for a woman. Nice guys need to learn to love and respect themselves. When you respect yourself, women will begin taking you much more seriously!
Nice guys finish last because they’re too busy helping other guys win the race. They’re more interested in other people’s happiness than their own. They’re too afraid to make a move and to take risks. They rather play the victim and blame everyone else for their lack of success with women.
Nice guys don’t want to take time to better themselves with women. A nice guy would rather “hope” and wait for the right girl to magically just fall in love with him.
The world we live in is NOT a dream world. Anything worth having is worth working for. When you sit back and don’t put more effort into getting something, you will never obtain anything in life. Successful people bust their butts to get the lives that normal people dream about.
My biggest advice to nice guys is to stop dreaming and letting people hold you back from what you want out of life. There’s no reason to settle for anything less than your ideal. Always strive to get the best you can get.
When you actually start going after the girls you want from the beginning, you get results. You won’t get every girl but you’ll get the girls you’ll actually want to date and be with.
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