Why Getting Rejected is a Good Thing (if You Learn From it)
When I was a child, I believed that rejection from a woman would be the end of the world for me.
I believed that if I got rejected, everyone would laugh at me and make fun of me forever.
I also believed that if I got rejected in public, everyone would be watching and that they would remember my face until the next time I would meet them and then they would laugh at me.
As you can tell, I had a lot of negative beliefs about rejection. These negative beliefs shaped how I acted around women, and so when I would get rejected, I further reinforced my negative beliefs.
This could be applied to success too because I used to believe that if I failed at doing something once, then I would never be able to become successful and that I was a failure.
I believed that to become successful, you would have to do it in one shot. I did not know that many successful people had failed a lot in their journey to success.
I learned much more from my rejections than my successes with women!
For example, I was at a social gathering one day and I had these canned lines that I was going to use on women (Pathetic, I know). These canned lines may work on some women, but the ones I tried them on definitely did not work.
I wondered, “How come these did not work?”
This happened many times and I still continued to use corny lines and this made me appear nervous. I was constantly worried whether I said the right things or not to women and that I did not want to get rejected in front of everyone.
These thoughts came true as I ended up getting rejected in front of people many times, and it obviously does hurt the ego. After getting rejected numerous times by constantly worrying about pleasing women, I knew that I had to change something.
I learned that to actually attract many women, you have to have great conversations with them, and not by using canned pickup lines. Once again, canned pickup lines could work on SOME women, I just prefer having a good conversation.
For example, I met a woman at a bookstore who was reading a book on marketing. I went up to her and asked her how she liked the book because I was genuinely curious myself. We then started talking about the ways twitter markets itself to its consumers, and I ended up getting her phone number.
I learned this through a LOT of trial and error with women and I learned to be genuinely curious about others. People love talking about themselves, and so whenever I do let people talk about themselves, I motivate them and tell them to shoot for the stars.
Another thing I learned from all my failures was that you should not be too needy and clingy when you first meet a woman.
I used to text women constantly all the time, and it was fun at first, but it seemed as if they got turned off after.
It’s always good to give some space with women that you just meet. Don’t text them constantly, text them for a day and then text them again after a few days and see how the conversation goes.
In other words, don’t give women too much attention. Instead make them work towards getting your attention, approval, and validation.
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