What to do after you’ve been on the first date
Congratulations. You noticed a beautiful woman and decided that you want to approach her.
You mustered up all of your courage, mental toughness and “inner game”.
You stood tall, walked confidently, went right up to that little hottie and introduced yourself.
You looked her in her beautiful eyes as you offered a warm, friendly smile and shook her hand.
You didn’t use any lame pickup lines, only provided her with REAL, genuine conversation.
She gladly accepted your offer for a first date and it was AMAZING. So, my question to you is, now what?
You see, I bring this up because I myself, on far too many occasions, have gotten this far only to fuck up the whole deal. In a sense, I let my guard down. I got too comfortable too quickly.
Because I had already gotten this far I stopped focusing as much on my fundamentals. I thought I had won the war when, in fact, I had only won the FIRST battle.
It was only after I messed this stage of the dating/getting laid process up many times when it dawned on me that I was making some CRITICAL mistakes.
I don’t ever again want to put in some solid ground work only to end up without the little beauty of my desire. And, I don’t want that to happen to you either.
So, what follows is a summary of what I believe I did wrong, what I could have done differently and what I ultimately improved upon.
Texting and Calling too often:
Because the first date had went so damn well I thought it had given me a pass to call or text the girl as much as I wanted to. After all, we had a great time, built some serious rapport and I even managed to get a nice passionate kiss.
It was overkill. It made me look like a man with absolutely NO other options. I now know exactly what happened.
The girls I did this to took my excessive texts/calls to mean they were the ONLY thing I had going for me. They saw it as not only did I not have any other women to text but I also didn’t have another damn thing going on in my life.
They just started seeing me as the guy who bugged the shit out of them. Honestly, I can’t blame them.
Truth be told, they probably were into me. Based on the results of the first dates they most likely were very attracted to me. And, chances are when I texted them and they didn’t get right back to me, they were simply busy at the moment.
But my neediness hit them like a baseball bat to the face and their attraction for me died.
DON’T make this mistake, gentlemen.
If she doesn’t answer your call or return your text right away, give it some time. If you guys had a great first date then it’s highly likely she just cannot get to the phone at the moment and that she will return your call when she can.
Telling her “how I feel” too soon:
I had a great time with the girl, I really liked her and I wanted her to know. BIG mistake.
First off I was letting girls know how much I liked them WAY too soon. There’s nothing wrong with letting them know you had a great time, that you’re attracted to them and that you would like to see them again.
Really, those things are necessary in order to progress to the next date and, hopefully, getting laid. However, in reality I was showing my entire hand before all the cards were dealt.
When a man is that quick to tell a girl exactly how much he likes them, they see this as desperation. The only thing I can think of that would turn a woman off quicker than desperation is if you had a fucking third eyeball in the middle of your forehead. I don’t think any of you reading this is a mutant.
Seriously guys, I don’t care if you believe in love at first sight and decide you want to marry this woman (hopefully you don’t do that shit because it’s just silly) you do not, under any circumstances, let her know this when you’ve only been out on one freaking date.
If you do, I promise you, women will run away from your ass faster than Usain Bolt! Keep your cool.
The girl likes you too. She had a great time with you. Don’t blow a chance at something that could, possibly, lead to real love just because you can’t hold down your emotions like a drunk chick at a kegger can’t hold down her alcohol.
And if by some chance she’s not feeling you the way you are her, fuck it. There are so many more beautiful women out there looking for a sexy ass man like you. Don’t ever forget that. It’s your ace in the hole.
Asking her to meet your family:
This really goes hand in hand with #2 but I feel it’s worth mentioning specifically. Doing this when you’ve just met a woman is another surefire way to make yourself reek of neediness and desperation.
You’re probably asking yourself, “What’s the big deal?”
Trust me, she will take this as you trying to start a serious, committed relationship with her and, even worse, trying to do it way too soon.
In turn, she will see you as someone who has no other options with women and as a man who is happy to take whatever he can get. No woman will find that attractive in a man.
Malcolm has already told you guys, and he is 110% correct, that women want to be with men that other women want. Well, my friend, if you’re willing to take whatever scraps are thrown your way, she is going to be smart enough to realize that you must not have many other women interested in you at all.
Don’t make this mistake.
Make her EARN the right to meet your wonderful family. Make sure she deserves to be in the company of the one’s you love so much. I don’t know everything but I can tell you that after only one date, or even a few weeks of dating, she hasn’t earned that right yet.
Agreeing to EVERYTHING she suggests:
Look guys, I’m not telling you to be an ass hole to women. I’m not telling you to never consider their feelings or to never be open minded about their needs.
If she suggests going somewhere and doing something that you just flat out KNOW you will not enjoy and/or find stupid as hell, then don’t do it.
If she wants to go to the opera and you would rather French kiss a shotgun than to listen to that shit, then don’t go! She’s not your wife. Hell, at this point, she isn’t even your girlfriend.
She is some chick that you just met and you do not have to live your life for her or spend your very precious time doing things that you can’t stand.
Now, you do need to realize, if you decline her offer then you can’t get pissed at her if she decides to go without your ass. You’re not her husband either. She has the right to decide to do what’s going to make her happy. And, if she does go on without you, don’t throw a fit like a little bitch and definitely do not text and call her over and over again.
I do want to point out that there is nothing wrong with being open minded and trying new things. She may introduce you to something and you end up discovering you love it. It’s happened to me before so, I know it’s possible.
However, if you’ve been there, done that and know you don’t want any part of it again, then politely decline and suggest to meet up some other time soon to do something you both enjoy. If there isn’t anything you both agree upon and enjoy doing together then it’s time for you to find a new woman, plain and simple.
The 4 mistakes above are only a drop in the bucket of all the shit you can possibly do to kill attraction and send a woman running from you.
I don’t tell you this to be negative, only to make you aware, so that you’ll keep on your toes and remember to cover those fundamentals.
Look, if you’ve put the time and effort into meeting a girl and have already experienced a very successful first date then why blow it all by making some very avoidable mistakes?
Just stay confident, be ever mindful of the fundamentals, give her at least a little room to breathe and make damn sure she knows, NOT THINKS but KNOWS you are able to replace her with no sweat, and you’ll manage to get as many dates as you want out of this woman.
After all, you can replace her, can’t you?
– Michael “The Wheel One” Wheeler
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