What NOT to Do On a First Date With a Girl

Brief introduction: until some years ago, I was a wuss, I admit it. I got tired of it, and went on a journey of self-development and conscious and constant evolution, read several materials on the subject – mostly lame and useless, and some REALLY great, such as Malcolm’s materials.

Nowadays, interacting with women and getting dates is no problem anymore and I look forward to helping you on your path to achieving your goals in this area of your life. I believe that teaching is learning the double, so let’s all learn together!

Many men find it hard to handle first dates in a way that ends well and with her wanting more to happen, be it sex right then and there, or a follow up date that will leads to intimacy.

In reality, doing great on first dates shouldn’t be hard and the good news is that it doesn’t have to be that way, should you follow some simple rules.

In this article, I’ll lay out for you useful tips that will change your first dates FOREVER and will make you a much more interesting and attractive man.

What NOT to Do On a First Date With a Girl

You got her interest. You texted her, talked to her in person or phoned her and got the date!

That probably means she got interested in you enough to go out with you, so that she can get to know you better, or rather what makes you tick.

That’s right: she wants to know if you have a solid personality, if you’re a REAL man, if you are in control of your emotions, if you can pass her tests, etc.

No matter how attracted she is to you, it can all disappear at the drop of a hat if you do one or a combination of the following:

Things NOT to Do On a First Date With a Girl

Do not take her to an expensive place: You decide on the place, because you know where you want to go and women like that. That said, you don’t treat her to an expensive first date.

Women are very resentful of wussies trying to buy her affections and sex with money or expensive dinners or gifts and it completely drops ANY attraction she may have had for you!

Don’t be that guy!

Instead, take her to a cool place, in which you can relax and enjoy a nice conversation, somewhere you can enjoy a nice bite to eat, a drink and sit together, for instance.

Do not feel like you have to pay for everything: Do not feel like it is your obligation to pay for everything! Don’t jump to take the check. My experience is that most attractive and cool women will offer to split the bill with you and they will actually value you MORE if you let them do it!

(Check out Malcolm’s article “Why to NOT Pay for Dates” for more tips and reasons about why its better to let women pay for dates!)

As for everything in life, there are exceptions.

Suppose it’s a simple latte or juice and it’s no big deal to pay 5 or 10 bucks. You don’t want to come across as being stingy, just make sure you are casual about paying it.

You can even go and say: “I’ll pay for the coffee, it’s no big deal”. That says you are more interested in the interaction with her than in impressing her with paying for things. You can take her to a fancier place later on if you want, but that’s after you two have had sex, not before!

Do NOT talk too much: Being a good listener is key. Let HER do around 70% of the talking, while YOU do around 30%.

Make sure that you react and have genuine emotions and comments about cool things she is saying.

It’s ok and good to break eye contact so as not to look like a weirdo desperate to please, but if she says something really interesting, really look interested. In no time, she’ll be asking about you and YOUR life.

Do some talking and shift it back to her. This creates great emotional connections with women, because they feel like you know a LOT about them!

Do not “not touch her”: I know…that sounded very confusing. But this is a “not to do” list, so bear with me!

Most guys are afraid to touch women out of fear of their reactions.

A confident man touches women. It is a display of confidence, dominance, and connection that women not only love, but expect man to do!

Women are very touchy with people, so for them it is more than natural to do so.

Here are some thoughts that will definitely pop up in her head if you do not touch her: “he’s not confident and he’s self-conscious”… “He probably doesn’t understand women or doesn’t know how to touch women”… “If I were to have sex with him, he wouldn’t be able to please me the way I like”. And that’s putting it mildly…

Again, don’t be that guy!

Let your hands “accidentally” touch theirs while you’re walking or sitting, touch their arms to emphasize a point or when you’re telling them something interesting.

Put your hands on their backs gently when you’re crossing streets or when you want to move her somewhere.

They love that game and they know how to play it. The more attracted the girls is to you, the more she will touch you or reciprocate your touches somehow.

Just don’t touch women in a creepy way and certainly do not look where you’re touching, because that shows you are not natural about touching her.

Personal note: I don’t like to make out with women in public places or touch their lady parts in public. If their social conditioning kicks in and she realizes she might be labeled a slut, she will try and stop you, to say the least.

If I can do it discretely, given that I know she is enjoying my progression, no problem! If not, there is a right place for that, ok?

Do not stop her from doing things for you: If a woman offers to do anything to please you, NEVER stop her!

She does so because she deems you worthy of her act, she believes you deserve it. Stopping her will only scream “I don’t deserve people doing nice things for me”, which easily translates to “low value” or “low status”.

If she offers to buy drinks, food, pay the taxi, the hotel, the dessert, or to go and pick something for you, just be a high value man and let her do things for you. Just make sure you appreciate what she does for you by saying “Thanks” or something to that effect.

Do not show signs of neediness or approval seeking behavior: Things to avoid – leaning forward, letting her lead, staring too much, bragging, acting arrogant, telling her about your earning potentials, lying, asking her if she likes you so far, trying to be funny all the time, complimenting her…

I could go on and on, but I see most guys doing these things as I observe their interactions with attractive and even unattractive women.

Not surprisingly, the woman in front of them is completely turned off, staring off into the distance, looking away, giving courtesy smiles, leaning away, just nodding and not saying much, looking at her watch and cellphone and hoping to get the hell out of there ASAP!

Do not forget to kiss her: Sounds lame, but most men simply don’t do it and fall into the dreaded friend zone!

Don’t expect HER to take the lead and kiss you. It happens on occasion, but assume it’s YOUR job to lead any interaction with her. If you’re good at reading signs, you’ll know when she is ready for your kiss.

Here are 2 things you can do to help you with kissing:

1 – Become very touchy with women, immediately! I’m dead serious about it! Remember what goes on in a woman’s head if you don’t touch them at all.

2 – Now that you’re touchy with women, it won’t be hard and it won’t take long for you to touch or play with their hair. %u200B It literally doesn’t matter what you say about it as you touch it: “Is this your natural hair color?”, “I like the way you split your hair.”, “Have you ever had long/short hair?”.

Look them in the eyes as you say whatever and glance at their lips not for too long and then back at their eyes. Women melt when you do that! If they open their lips, or look at your lips a lot, you’re in my friend!

A piece of advice if I may: do NOT clench your tongue in her mouth at first. Kiss her gently on the lips, a nice, slow, hot kiss. If she touches you with her tongue, than you can go on as well and progress to a “stronger” kiss.

Remember, this is just an example. I personally use it most times, primarily because I stick with what works and, quite frankly, I love to escalate touch with women and especially to their hair. Touching their hair really gets you closer to them and most women just love when you touch them there!

Do NOT explicit your intentions for sex, unless you are very natural and confident about it

I believe this topic would require an ENTIRE page, but let me give you some pointers: Women like mystery and confidence, and they test men all the time for character, personality, and what have you.

Verbalizing sex or sexual intentions is a mistake that most wussy men make. The problem is not the topic itself, but how and when it is brought up by men.

Don’t get me wrong now: talking about sex in the right way and the right time can double the attraction she has for you and may make her want to know even more how you are in bed.

If you’re not yet very natural or confident about it, do you both a favor and don’t bring it up. Save your mystery and dignity by being subtle about it and not verbalizing it.

On the other hand, though, women might bring sex up to test you, especially if they feel they are losing all the control or power over the situation. Call it a last resort of some sort to get the power back.

Suppose they say “You know, I’ve slept with more than one woman.” Most men get off balance with that statement and freak out, thus giving her the power over them and lowering her attraction for them. You can be casual and witty and say: “wow…couldn’t find a man who likes you? You must be annoying!” She will probably laugh or slap you playfully. See the difference?

Women are attracted to men who are comfortable around sex in ANY form. They can sense sexual confidence.

Do NOT be afraid to escalate the interaction towards sex

After you gather some experience by going out on dates, you can tell if she wants to be alone with you or if you should set another date for that. In any case, you lead the interactions toward sex, so do not be afraid of doing so!

Say you’re out at night and everything is going great. Why not lead her to your place, her place or a hotel? Don’t ask her, lead her.

Woman like men who can give them firm and confident commands (not in a bossy way, of course). She might throw you some LMR, but that’s fine.

If you think it’s a good idea to set a second date, no problem! Just make sure the second date is something that will make sex more likely to happen, especially because you have kissed and maybe made out with her already. As long as you’re not pushy and creepy you’re good.

What NOT To Do On a First Date With a Girl

By you avoiding the points above, you will find yourself much more powerful, natural, and secure on first dates. You will stop doing what is wrong and start doing what works, and hopefully you will stick with what works.

Know what NOT to do and get it right!

Continue reading here: Why Ordinary is Not Your Destiny

Was this article helpful?

0 0

Readers' Questions

  • Hassan
    How much touching on first date?
    1 year ago
  • There is no right or wrong answer to how much touching is appropriate on a first date. Ultimately, it comes down to comfort levels and boundaries that feel right for each person involved. If you feel comfortable, a light touch of the arm or a hug might be appropriate, but that's ultimately up to you. If unsure, it's best to err on the side of caution.