There Was This One Special Girl, Part 1: The Pitfalls of Dating, Pick Up, and Seduction
Note from Malcolm: This is part 1 of a guest post from my friend Neocene. In this article he shares with you some of the potential pitfalls that can arise from chasing ONE girl and falling for her too heavily. He also discusses some tips and revelations that he has learned along the way throughout his journey of pick up, dating, and seduction. Here is his article…
Like all beginners in the world of pick up and seduction , there was a time where I was absolutely horrible with women.
While I do not claim to be a dating master, I have learned a fair share of things that have helped.
Often men begin scowling the internet for advice on how to win “that one special girl” and how to get her to like him. This often is due to a man having low self-esteem and having a scarcity mentality, telling himself that this girl is the only one he’ll ever need.
This is a story about how such a time ruined me for years and affected my self-esteem, how I viewed women, dating, sex, and intimacy for years. By telling you this, I hope that all new comers will see that you’re not alone in your struggles and that every man has been in the same spot.
That One Girl: The Beginning
Several years ago I attended a very prestigious art institute in United States. I had a long time dream of becoming a world famous comic book artist in the likes of Jim Less, Mark Silvestri, J. Scott Campbell and Frank Cho. I drew every day and was pretty set in my career choice.
At the start of second year at school, I attended a large social event held by the university. It was there that I first saw ‘that girl’. The one that literally takes your breath away, everything around you slows down, and time stops all together.
People call this love at first sight. For the most part it was true. I fell for this girl the moment I saw her. She was on my mind constantly. I knew I had to find her and get her in my life.
A few days later, luck would pay me a visit, and I saw her in my school cafeteria having lunch with her roommate. Doing something completely out of character of me at the time, I went up to her directly, introduced myself, and sat with her for lunch.
We had a great conversation and I was even more smitten with her. I would later learn that this is what you would call “The Direct Approach”. However I didn’t state my intentions and just came off as a friendly nice guy examining it now. (Note for guys: if you don’t state what you’re intentions are when talking to a woman, she won’t have ANY idea why you’re actually talking to her in the first place! This often leads a woman to placing you in the friends zone) She would later tell me that she thought it was very bold and was happy that I had done so.
Eventually she started telling me about her boyfriend troubles and I became ‘that guy’. I was her sympatric ear, the shoulder to cry on, etc. She would talk about her jerk of a boyfriend and how he treated her so badly. All the while I was screaming in my head how bad I wanted her and that I would never treat her like that. She would go on for hours about it and I would just soak it all up. I was her emotional sponge.
That One Girl: What I Learned and Discovered
I know now what I had become. ‘The Nice Guy’. The one she could talk to about her problems, the one she had absolutely NO attraction to. I might as well been her gay best friend at that point. If she needed me, I came coming. If she wanted to chat about her boyfriend all night, I was there. It’s a terrible spot to be in, but when you’re in love, you don’t care. You just want to be around someone no matter what.
This went on for some months until one night while we were chatting, I IM’ed part of her messages to me to another friend who was online. He thought it was funny and started messaging her. She became suspicious of how he had gotten her screen name when I was the only one she had given it to.
When she confronted me about this, I did the worst thing ever. I lied to her.
I was so scared of her cutting me from her life that I would’ve done anything to keep it going. Even if I was just her emotional tampon, I was still at least able to talk to her. I didn’t want to lose her fearing that I would never find anyone else.
She however realized what I had done and cut me off. The next time I saw her, she ignored me and it broke my heart.
At this point a more rational man would’ve moved on. However I wasn’t rational. I was a young and head over heels in what he thought was love.
I hope at this point you see all the mistakes I was making and perhaps some that you’re making yourself.
Looking back at it now, I can see I was a blind mess of emotions and my sense of self was being built purposely around one person.
In the next part of the story, you’ll see how love can make you do stupid things. You’ll also learn about my first forays into the field of pick up that I tried using to get this girl back.
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