Reframing and Regaining Control With the Women (and Situations) in Your Life
I’m back with a personal story that will help you in the darkest of times: when you are down for judging yourself for things you’ve done wrong.
Talking negatively to yourself can be devastating, especially after you have “failed” with women. If you want to know why I quoted the word “failed”, then check out the post Malcolm wrote about “failure” with women.
In my case, I managed to screw a situation with 3 hot women at the same time and missed the chance of a lifetime. But it was what I thought of myself and how I judged myself AFTER I screwed it up that really brought me down badly.
Hopefully, my personal story will inspire you to never allow yourself to become depressed or down EVER again, be it with women and dating, or any other part of your life.
You are about to read the true story I call “The foursome that never happened”.
I broke it down to you as follows:
· The date
· The bi-girls
· The downfall
· Rising from the dead
Reframing and Regaining Control With Women: The Date
One month ago, I went out with this stunning 19 year old theater actress. It was our first date together and I took her out to a bar next to a nice hotel I usually spend the night at with women.
Getting side tracked a little – here’s something I’ll say to any women at any given moment, but especially at the beginning of an interaction: “What kind of women do you like?”
I really do believe that most women are bisexual (if not all). I actually picked it up from other materials and it works every single time.
This question instantly makes you stand out if done casually and confidently. I might write an article about it soon.
Back on track now – I asked her about her kind of women and she promptly described it to me, in addition to saying that she’d had 9 experiences with women so far.
Then I said casually: “Cool. Let’s go downstairs and I’ll find you some women you like. You have no game so I will help you with that”. She giggled and hit me playfully.
She got really excited about it but said I wouldn’t have the nerve to pull it off. She should know better than to doubt a man on a crusade to make chicks have sex with each other!
As we walked downstairs, I spotted these 2 beautiful women: a red hair and a brunette talking and having a beer, enjoying each other.
We sat behind them and I ordered some drinks (my first mistake, as I am a person who can’t drink more than a beer…I’m too weak for alcohol).
I started teasing her about me going up to the 2 girls.
She would hold me or say things like: “Are you crazy??? You can’t do that”.
I said: “I can. In fact I’m doing it now!”. I stood up and walked over to their table.
Reframing and Regaining Control With Women: The bi-girls
I extended my hand as I asked the girls’ names.They gladly told me their names and asked mine.
I sat down and shot the question: “So, what are you 2 up to tonight?”.
One of them said: “Y’know, just hanging out and let’s see what happens. Why?”.
I said: “Nice. You see, I’m with my friend here (I pointed to the table behind them) and she really liked you girls.”.
The girls, after having seen the babe behind them, said: “Call her over then!”
I did the introductions and the girls immediately hit it off and we were all having fun.
The guys around our table couldn’t believe the size of my balls and how I was, in a matter of 1 minute, sitting down with 3 hot women laughing and having fun with them.
I quickly found out they were in their mid-twenties and were bisexual, intelligent, fun, interesting women who had already traveled the world, no amateurs there, mind you.
I was still on the top of my game, teasing the hell out of them, keeping the challenge and mystery up, until more drinks arrived…
Reframing and Regaining Control With Women: The downfall
Cutting to the chase, they were completely into me and into each other, until I decided to have a few more drinks.
We were already talking about leaving the bar and heading to my hotel room. But that was before I decided to have a few more drinks.
I lost all my game and started acting like a dumb jerk, offending the girls and making them feel uncomfortable. All of a sudden, I was a regular wussy trying hard to impress them and getting their approval.
One of the girls called me a douchebag and said that they would hang out with my date, but not with a loser like me. Even so I decided to stick around, which just caused them to despise me even more for being such a doormat.
My date and one of the girls started making out right then and there.
The men around me, unaware of my screw up, came and talked to me worshipping me like they would a God, offering me beer and saying things like: “dude, you have all of them for yourself and they’re making out in front of you! You’re the man!” I tried to tell them that I wouldn’t get lucky anymore, that I had screwed it all up, but they wouldn’t listen to me.
After 1 hour or so of watching the girls making out and vanishing for minutes into the restroom, I found myself alone and left behind by my date and the girls. They were getting some that night; I was getting blue balls, a hangover and a full work day ahead of me.
I could barely walk so drunk I was…somehow I managed to get a bus and head home, all the way thinking negatively of myself.
No way would I spend money on a hotel to sleep alone. I just couldn’t forgive myself for losing 3 hot women who were attracted to me at the same time.
I was bitter and feeling depressed.
I got home at around 8 am and I was devastated. I could only get 4 hours sleep before having to go to work. I woke up even worse and couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. I cried out of anger, not accepting that a man who has his act together, who knows about attraction, had acted like a complete wussy dork.
Reframing and Regaining Control With Women: Rising from the dead
I left home, took a bus to work.
I felt powerless, I felt I had no status, I couldn’t even stand up straight and I felt like shit due to the hangover and the sleeplessness.
Then, while looking at the landscape, this thought downed on me: “wait a minute! What am I thinking? I did not fail at all!”.
At that moment, I could already feel myself regaining power and control over myself, so I started gathering evidence that I had actually been successful!
I thought to myself: “I managed to easily attract and get a date with a stunning hot 19 year old theater actress. I am so damn good and confident that I had her share her bisexuality with me in no time.
Then, I stood up in a crowded bar and walked up to these 2 hot women and sat with them. Because I’m so damn confident, they felt an instant attraction for me and welcomed my approach.
The 3 women had a great time with me to a point where they started making plans of leaving the place with me and going to my usual hotel, the 4 of us.
How many men in the world would have had the balls to do what I did???
How many men in the world would even get a first date and 2 complete strangers to share their bisexuality with them in the most casual way???
And how many men would be able to do what I am doing now: reframe the whole situation in order to take control?”
I shit you not when I say that it was like having pure energy injected in me as I repeated all the evidences over and over again in my head.
I could stand tall again and be proud of myself for having done so many brave things in just one night.
It’s true I didn’t get laid with the 3 women, and I actually hooked my date with the other girls. But I just couldn’t allow that to define who and what I am. I knew I was much better than that!
How to Reframe and Regain Control of Any Situation
No matter how fucked up the situation is, there is ALWAYS something good you can get out of it, be it courageous things you did and/or a lesson and/or experience.
The key here is to look for evidence of your successes and put negative self talk aside. You must do it consciously! It would be easy for me to blame the alcohol for the screw up, but that would never have done me any good.
In your life, no matter how good or successful you are, you will come across situations that are so jacked up that you cannot believe you allowed them to happen.
When that happens, you should:
· Take responsibility for whatever happened and accept that what’s done is done. The past exists but only in your head;
· Look for positive evidence that you actually had success at some points and/or that you took a lesson out of it;
· Be proud of yourself for having gone through that situation and for having learned so much from it;
· Believe you are a high status man that has his shit together no matter how disastrous the situation is. Shit happens to everyone; the difference is that you choose to not feel affected by it.
· Know that in life everything may happen and therefore you choose not to act like a victim. You walk through life like a powerful real man regardless of what happens because you are not outcome dependent.
Reframing and regaining control With the Women (and Situations) in Your Life
Hopefully, my personal story helped you understand that it is up to YOU to decide exactly how you feel.
I’m not saying it is easy at first, but do it consistently and constantly and you will get the hang of it. Sure we can fall at times, but we have the power to shake off the dust and get up confidently.
I really believe that we learn a great deal when we go out in the world and make things happen. But sometimes, we can learn from others and THEIR experiences.
I hope you have benefitted from the article as I have from this wonderful life experience. It is my pleasure to help you!
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