How You Can Overcome Rejection With Women
If you have been out actively approaching women, I’m sure you’ve
probably noticed something about some of your interactions.
Those interactions that don’t go as you’d like.
- Where you got no smile back…
- Where you got nothing in return to your hello…
- Where you got a cold shoulder…
You don’t need to think too hard to know how it makes you feel.
Down, sad, frustrated, and just plain rejected…
Don’t worry, I’ve been there. More than I ever want you to experience. So let me tell you my secret, that’s allowed me to become who I am today. Let me tell you something about rejection that’s going to absolutely blow you away…
There’s no such thing as rejection!
No need to go back and see if you read that wrong — You read it correctly the first time.
There is NO such thing as rejection.
It’s a made-up term. The feeling of being rejected is a made-up emotion.
It’s really just a fear and an excuse. It’s something that allows you to remain in the friend zone, prevents you from approaching women, and ensures you to remain alone.
That is not even the worst of what this made-up term does. The biggest thing that rejection does is protect you from going out and taking the action that will get you what you really want.
How many times have you not talked to a beautiful woman at the gym because you told yourself that if she doesn’t like you that you would be forced to find a new gym?
How many times have you seen that same attractive woman in the elevator of your building, but you never talk to her because if she rejects you then you will be forced to take the stairs?
Here is why I say there is really is no such thing as rejection.
It is just the excuse you use so that you don’t have to break out of your comfort zone and try.
That’s really what it is.
The truth is that if you are not willing to try — to approach, talk to and learn the skills to engage women — then you might as well just sit back and do nothing. I know that might sound harsh, but some of you need a little “tough love.”
Nothing, and no one (even the MOST successful people), are successful 100% of the time.
A quarterback is considered successful when he completes 65% of his passes. The other 35%? Well, those passes go in all sorts of different directions. They’re tipped, intercepted, dropped, overshot, or whatever it might be. A top baseball player gets three hits for every ten at bats. He may strike out the other seven times, but yet he’ll be in the hall of fame because he’s a .300 lifetime hitter. A good salesman who gets ten leads and only closes one of them will be the one who lives in a beautiful home at the top a hill and can afford all the great toys.
And the list goes on and on…
Even though this is true in every part of life, guys seem to want to find a “rejection proof” guaranteed way to approach women before they will even go out and try. Then if one conversation or approach doesn’t work out, they use the excuse of rejection to not have to go out there and try again.
Why? They think unless they can be guaranteed never to get them “rejected,” that something doesn’t work.
The truth is that no matter what you do, how you look or who you are, there WILL be women you find attractive who will not be interested in you. As long as you are out there meeting women, this will happen from time to time.
It happens to EVERYONE… everyone who is out there meeting people, and going places that is.
Once you accept this, then the only question is this:
“How are you going to deal with it when it happens?”
You’re going to say, “Who cares?!” and you’re going to move on to the next one.
That’s it! That’s as much time you should spend focusing on it.
It’s all about attitude.
I don’t care if a woman doesn’t like me. That woman I’m looking at across the room, it’s HER loss if she doesn’t like me. That’s how I approach every encounter.
Here’s the key, though. I would rather walk right over to that woman and find out right away whether or not she likes me, as opposed to wondering, obsessing, and speculating about it like so many guys do.
How many times have you seen a cute woman at Starbucks, but instead of talking to her you just ordered your coffee and went home? Then you went home and spent the better part of a day analyzing it, over-analyzing it, and going over it with your friends.
You vow that you WILL talk to her the next time, but then you don’t talk to her the next time you see her either. Then finally, when you do muster up enough guts to talk to her, she blows you off. It doesn’t work out. So you say to yourself, “I’m never approaching a woman at Starbucks again because it obviously doesn’t work.”
Here’s what different about how I do it, and how YOU need to do it from now on . . .
I’m going to go up to her and start talking to her immediately the first time I see her. I’m not going to hesitate. I’m going to find out whether or not we have chemistry right from the get-go. If we don’t, I don’t let it phase me. I’m going to move on to the next one (and the next one, and the next one after that if need be), because that’s the way life works.
Everything in your life that has worked, happened because you kept moving forward and didn’t let the past stop you. You need to keep moving forward in your dating life just like you would in any other area of your life.
Not only that, but you need to be able to move forward without having to go through the process of analyzing (and often over-analyzing) every encounter or conversation that didn’t work out. You need to not criticize every move that you made, or think things like “Maybe I should have smiled more” or “Maybe I shouldn’t have said (or done) that.”
As long as I know I did the most important things – observed, smiled, talked to her with positive enthusiasm and while making great eye contact, and listened — then there is nothing else to replay or analyze. Her reaction to those things are irrelevant. If you don’t have mutual chemistry, then you just move on to the next one.
Being fearless with women really comes down to having that attitude — and truly believing it. It is understanding (and once again really believing) that there is no such thing as rejection.
Think about the alternative. What would happen if Peyton Manning, after throwing an interception, thought “Oh my God, I might throw another interception so I better not go out there anymore and throw more passes?”
Sounds ridiculous in that context, doesn’t it?!
It is no different when it comes to meeting women.
There is no such thing as rejection. It’s about reprogramming your mind.