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How to Become a Good Listener (and Effortlessly Attract Women)

how to attract women by becoming a good listenerIf your goal is to learn how to attract women, then one thing you must become is a good listener.

Women just love men who are good listeners. I think we all know this. However, it requires more than just a mindless nod and an "uh-huh" thrown in there every few words to be considered a good listener. Women like to know that you are really paying attention to what they are saying to you.

The key to attracting women isn't to talk, talk, and talk. The key to attracting women is to listen, listen, and listen.

One thing that I always tell men looking to improve with women, is that 75% of the time that you are interacting with women, YOU will be listening and SHE will be the one doing most of the talking. The reason for this is because women (and all people in general) feel more connected to a person not based on how much they know about YOU but based on how much that you know about THEM.

This is why men who constantly worry about finding the perfect thing to say to girls continue to fail. By becoming a good listener, you will never struggle coming up with something interesting to say when talking to women.

Here are a few of my personal tips to help you learn how to attract women by becoming a good listener:

How to Become a Good Listener (and Naturally Attract Women)

Here are some of my personal tips that you can begin implementing TODAY to become a better listener and improve your future interactions with women:

Learn How to Make Better Eye Contact

I cannot stress this enough. Making eye contact with a woman is one of the most important ways in which she knows that you are really listening to her. It is very difficult to be thinking about the latest sports scores or mentally reviewing your work day when you are focused on looking directly into her eyes.

Only men who are very confident and have an abundance mentality are able to look beautiful women directly in the eyes and remain unfazed by their beauty.

Check out the article "How to Use Sexy and Powerful Eye Contact to Get Girls (Aroused)" for more of my personal tips and strategies on using eye contact to attract girls and get them chasing you.

Ask Compelling and Interesting Questions

This is another way women really know that you are listening to them. However, you must ask questions that are relevant to what she is talking to you about. This can be difficult. Do not ask her what's for dinner; do not ask her what time the game is on, and do NOT ask her about the weather.

Why do you want to avoid asking girls these trivial and useless questions?

Well, because their trivial and surface level stuff. They don't really let you learn major things about a girl or what makes her unique. Asking girls these basic level questions do NOT tell you what a girl is passionate about, what her personal goals are for the future, or even some great childhood memories that she may want to share with you.

If she is regaling you with a story about her boss, ask about how it affected her workday, for example. This will allow her to share details from her life with you and build a more powerful connection with you.

When you are able to ask women the right questions, you are able to relate to them more better. And that's the secret on how to become a good listener when talking to women: 

Being a good listener involves asking women questions and more importantly asking women the right questions.

Here's an example:

You: So what do you do for work?

Her: I currently work in a hospital as a nurse

You: That's really interesting. What decision in your life made you want to become a nurse? and where do you see yourself in your career 5 years from now?

By you asking women the right questions, you are essentially forcing them to have to think. They have to actually put in some effort in order to intelligently answer the question that you have asked them. You are also asking her compelling questions which are exciting for her to answer and causes her to feel a powerful connection between the two of you beginning to form.

90% of the time when I interact with women, I ask women questions and I have them do most (or all) of the talking while I just sit back and listen. There's no need to worry about saying the right thing. It's all about asking the right questions and getting women to share their life story with you.

How do you learn to ask women the right questions at the right time?

You have to genuinely be interested in learning new and fascinating things about the women you meet. You have to be interested in who she is as a person. And your interest in her cannot be faked otherwise it will show.

Here's another tip and takeaway for you: The men who women consider the most interesting are usually the men who are able to ask women compelling and interesting questions.

Learn How to Paraphrase

When you are focusing on learning how to become a better listener when speaking to women, learning how to paraphrase is perhaps the best piece of advice that I can offer you.

If a woman has been speaking for a few minutes, looks at you and pauses, she is probably waiting for a little feedback. The best way you can respond here is to paraphrase exactly what you just heard.

Do not use her exact words, but choose words that are very similar to those she spoke. When you find yourself doing this (and it does become automatic), you will find that you really are listening.

Why Is Being A Good Listener So Important For Attracting Women?

Being a good listener is important because the more better of a listener that you are, the more women will be able to trust you and the more that their guards and defensive walls will be lowered.

By becoming a good listener when you are talking to women, you will allow girls to feel more connected to you, women will begin to think that you "get and understand them", and you will be more able to get and keep an interesting conversation going.

Remember: The key to attracting women isn't to talk more, it is to learn how to talk less.

The less that you say when talking to women the more intriguing and mysterious you seem to girls and the less likely of a chance that you give yourself to say the wrong thing that could possibly turn her off.

Once you have mastered these simple steps of how to be a good listener when interacting with women, you will find that it will begin to come naturally to you. Becoming a good listener does require some practice, it really does, but you will find that it enhances your abilities to attract and seduce women greatly. 

Women don't find men who talk a whole lot attractive, it is the men who talk the least and listen the most who women find most attractive and alluring.

-Malcolm Thomas

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