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How to Beat Approach Anxiety (and Overcome Your Fears)

how to beat approach anxiety Note from Malcolm: This is an article from my good friend Just Dave. Just Dave is a very talented seducer who really understands how attraction works and is able to break down the mechanics of what makes a pick-up successful. In this article, Just Dave gives you some insights on how to beat approach anxiety. I hope that you enjoy his post.


Fact: Women take the passive role when it comes to dating and relationships.

As a matter of fact, women are more afraid of getting rejected than men are which is exactly why men are usually the first ones to make a move and begin an interaction.

Women are less likely to:

  • ·         Walk up and hit on you
  • ·         Strike up a conversation with you
  • ·         Ask you out on a date

Not moving fast with women and not taking the dominate role is a sure fire way to end in the friend zone.  She’ll be out talking to OTHER strong, sexy, and dominate men while you’re sitting at home waiting by the phone.   DON’T BE THAT GUY!!!

I used to be that guy and I want to save you from some of the heartache that I felt. I would see a beautiful girl, completely my type, and she would smile at me, and I wouldn’t even approach her, I had the thoughts of having a conversation with her. 

My thoughts were:

Excuses are like assholes, everybody’s got one and they all stink! You have to learn how to take action

I made a commitment to myself:  I’m going to go out and meet three new women everyday!

  •     I tracked my progress
  •    I kept myself motivated
  •   Most importantly I took notes, because I wanted to make sure that I wrote about my success and ALSO my failures!

I reworked my thinking using Brain Hacks: Get your negative thoughts out of the way!

 There’s nothing wrong with getting rejected by a girl, but there IS something wrong about never approaching the girl in the first place. 

How to Beat Approach Anxiety: 3 Simple Ways to Conquer Your Fear of Approaching Women

Some simple methods I’ve used to beat my approach anxiety were:

  • Asking a simple question: These are great for beginners who want to get comfortable breaking the ice with women.

 Do you have the time? Where is *insert place here*? Do you know when the next time is coming?

  • Stay Positive: Women are attracted to your personality, they can feel and sense unevenness and fear.

*Use your sexy smile

*Have your sexy voice ready

*Have some good body language and a strong posture as well

Asking simple questions that most strangers ask won’t get you rejected, you’re just trying to begin getting used to approaching girls. 

If you’re more advanced and want to get a conversation going .  .  .

I’ve also used statements: This is taking it to the next level from a question. The way you do it is highly important though. Don’t use “Excuse me or Sorry!” you want to come off as a strong, confident, and very powerful man.


·         “Hey, I like that dress” or “You have an interesting style” or even “You got some really great hair”

Instead of waiting for the girl to respond, just extend your hand and introduce yourself.  I’m *insert your name*

The overall thing to keep in mind when trying to get over your approach anxiety is tricking your brain.   Just give your brain a simple thought,

“Wow she’s really pretty, let me just grab her name” next step

” She’s really cool, let’s see if I can get her phone numbernext step

“Awesome, I got her phone number, now it’s time to text her and set up a dateit’s that easy.

The best part is that the more your brain gets used to you talking to pretty girls, the more your brain won’t get in the way.

My final hack that I’ve used is SHE’S NOT THAT SPECIAL

Just pull yourself back for a minute and realize that she is not that hot! I’ve actually taken the word “hot” out of my vocabulary when relating to women because I feel it puts too much pressure on myself.   You make yourself feel out of her league and not worthy of her attention.

Once you take that away, you realize that:

  • She’s just like you
  • She’s more approachable now because you’ve taken her off the pedestal
  • She’s just an ordinary cute girl

Her response doesn’t matter

How to Beat Approach Anxiety (and Overcome Your Fears)

You can’t allow yourself or another person to  scare you into not talking to a  girl.  You can’t get a girlfriend playing videogames all day and “hoping” she rings your door bell.  If you want women in your life you need to go get them.

You should never be afraid of rejection because like Malcolm said if you’re not getting rejected, you’re not getting laid! Life is a lot better when you take those chances on and that pretty girl said “Yes” and now you guys are hot and heavy making out. 

At the end of the day it’s really a numbers game, you have to approach a lot of girls to get the results you want.  You have to live life to the fullest and embrace the opportunity of talking to a pretty girl. 

The more you get used to talking to pretty girls, the more sooner it will become weird for you NOT to say anything to her. Soon after, the voice in your head will actually be trying to convince you to talk to girls! 

– Just Dave

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