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How to Avoid Drama From Women (and Set the Right Expectations in Your Relationships)

howy No matter what relationship you engage in with women whether it’s a friendship, boyfriend, or a lover you want to set the right expectations. 

A lot of guys get into jams where the women wears the pants in the engagement and runs all over the man’s feelings. Women will do what you allow them to get away with. 

When you don’t “punish” a women’s bad behavior and instead reward them for it you become a pushover and a loser to them. 

Women don’t value weak men and will not hesitate to use the man until all his resources are drained and then they  disappear from his life. 

This article is designed to limit as much drama in your dating life as possible. It is also geared towards keeping your relationships with women healthy.

How to Avoid Drama From Women (and Set the Right Expectations in Your Relationships) 

Set Healthy Boundaries, if you’re a busy guy like myself and a girl wants to be in a relationship with you let her know upfront that you’ll be busy.

Girl: Wow, now that we’re dating I can’t wait to spend a lot more time with you.

Me: It will be good, but you should know I have a lot of work that I have to do on a regular basis.  I will still make time for you, but I may only be able to see you for a couple of times a week.

Girl: That’s understandable, we’ll make the best of it.

When you tell a girl upfront what she can expect from you she can’t get mad in the future when she feels you failed her expectations.

Girl: I feel like I never see you.

Me: My bad babe, works been really crazy lately and I told it would be like this remember?

Girl: Yeah I do.

Me: I tell you what, next time I see you will be really special, but that’s all I’m going to say okay?

Girl: Awesome, I can’t wait.

The thing about relationships is that it’s hard if not impossible to back track when it comes to them. If you start off huge, you have to follow up huge. An example of this would be taking a girl to a fancy restaurant on a first date then trying to take her to McDonalds on a second date.

Lover Boundaries: Depending on the arrangement she may be a friends with benefits if you’re sleeping with her regularly. 

To keep things from back tracking in this type of relationship, sleep with her every time you see her. This way she becomes conditioned to receiving sex every time she sees you. 

Also, avoid getting too emotionally involved, it will happen eventually when she may want more from you but, to avoid that keep things strictly sexual for as long as possible. 

Don’t treat her like a girlfriend unless you want her to be a girlfriend. Otherwise you’ll have a lot more drama coming your way.

Friend Boundaries: Well she’s your friend and you’re not getting sex from her and she’s not getting money from you. 

I say it like that because a lot of times friend girls will attempt to use a guy’s resources such as his car, money, job connections, and etc… Let the girl know in the beginning that you keep your personal life separate from your business life.  

Also, let her know that you’ll busy most of the time so you won’t be able to help her whenever she needs it.  Most inter gender friendships are out of balance and don’t fit the needs of both parties involved. 

If a girl invites you out to get lunch or dinner, and she’s a friend openly ask her if she’s paying. If she’s expecting YOU to pay, let her know that you’re just friends and it’s NOT a date. She’ll get the picture.

How to Avoid Drama From Women: Don’t tolerate bad behavior from any woman.

Friends:  I know friends like to joke but,  women will do what you allow them to get away with. Stop the bad behavior the second it starts. 

This also includes a friend girl asking for a ride and flipping out on you when you can’t do it. 

Now with the properly set expectations you can answer any of her nonsense with this response. “I don’t tolerate drama from friends, let me know when you calm down.” Then cease contact from her, don’t blow it out of proportion and make yourself sound weak. Say this the second she does something you don’t accept and then move on.

Lovers: When a girl gets anxious if you’re going to get into a relationship with her, she’ll begin to get a bit crazy. She’ll start accusing you of being a player and making accusations of you, she’ll also accuse you of being a liar. 

If you set the right expectations with her you can say, “Hey I don’t need all this drama right now, call me when you get your act together.”  or  “We’re not in a committed relationship right now, but if this is how you’re going to be acting I don’t tolerate this from any girlfriend.” 

Many times women expect you to chase after them, don’t do it. Never chase a woman because you’ll only push her further away.

Now if a lover has found out that you are cheating and seeing other women, and then accuses you of being a liar this is your fault. Had you been upfront about you dating and seeing other women, she wouldn’t have flipped out. 

Women will most of the time assume you’re seeing other women when you don’t treat them like your girlfriend. However, be clear and tell them in the beginning “Your cool, but I’m still hanging out with this person from time to time.” Leave it at that and don’t explain, if they ask just say you’re just hanging out.  Then don’t bring them up again, believe me many of my friends come crying to me because they found out some girl they like has been seeing another guy behind their back. 

Until you’re both in a committed relationship you can’t be too upset. Now if you arranged with the women that you wouldn’t be talking to anyone else, than that’s also your fault.  I normally ask if the woman is seeing someone else and if she answers yes, than I tell her I don’t do double standards. Then I move on and continue seeing other women. 

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket initially!  You need time to decide if a particular girl is right for you before jumping into a relationship.

Girlfriend: I’m doing singular to avoid confusion and keep this article as simple as possible for everyone. 

A girlfriend will stir up drama to keep the relationship exciting, to keep that from happening in my relationships I tell girls drama only hurts our relationship. I tell them all about how we’re supposed to be a “team” and work together and not seek to tear each other down. I want the best for her and in turn she should want the best for me.  

When it comes to dinner and dates, I either do something simple like making dinner or watching a movie on Netflix. I also sleep with a girlfriend every time she is over and I see her.  You never want your relationship to become sexless and boring.

When a girl does flip out just say “Where is all of this coming from?”. 

Have her calmly explain herself and then seek a solution and then move on.  Do not sleep with her the same night you had a fight however!  Because that would be rewarding her bad behavior, “We had a fight, and I think we should take the night off I’ll sleep with you tomorrow.” 

When you are exceedingly good in bed this is a powerful tool. Because then she realizes that when she acts up she won’t be getting great sex that night. 

This is great because guys lose their options when they commit to a girl, and like Malcolm mentioned in the article “Women Like Men Who Cheat” you always want her to think that she doesn’t completely have you.

How to Avoid Drama From Women: It’s all about consistency, and this is by far the hardest part in any relationship.

Lover: this is the relationship that has the shortest life span. It will usually last about 3 to 4 months, but eventually the woman will want more and you’ll have to either let her go or commit to her. 

If you are going to commit to her define the relationship in your own terms and expectations. If you can’t agree then it’s best not to engage, especially if you’re really not interested in her. 

If you don’t want her as a girlfriend, be prepared for some hurt feelings and resentment but wish her luck. She may come back if she can’t find what she’s looking for.  Don’t go out of your way to contact her and give her the wrong ideas either because you’ll confuse her and she’ll excuse you of using head games on her.

Friends: this can have a longer life span than a lover and shorter life span that a girlfriend. 

I cannot typically remember a friend girl sticking around in my regular for longer than 5 months on her own. Some friend girls are due to a social circle or because you live near them in a apartment complex. 

Whatever the case, the more you do for her the more you expect. The less you do for her if anything, she will not expect anything. 

Now if she genuinely likes you as a person and isn’t trying to use you that’s great! However if she’s just looking for an orbiter and she knows you’re trying to sleep with her and NOT be her friend she’ll drop contact and ignore you.

Now if you have a friend girl whom you’ve been friend with say a long time and she gets a boyfriend be prepared for the boyfriend to requests that your friendship end. 

She will choose him over you, but don’t take it personal as long as you’re a cool guy and don’t overreact she’ll still hang out with you. This of course would mean you have no romantic interest in her and you’re actually happy just being her friend. 

However remember from Malcolm’s article about “Female Friendship”, she will hurt your chances at getting better with women.  Do yourself a favor and be cordial when you see her but don’t go out of your way to hang out with her. 

Now if you’re trying to sleep with a girl who’s your friend move on mate!  In the words of a girl from a party I met, “Once you’re a friend you don’t become a boyfriend you’re a friend and you’re stuck there.” 

Ironically this girl was trying to befriend me, and I wasn’t for that. It’s a sad box you’re forced to be in, consider it to be a dead end job.

Girlfriend: this can last from a week until a wedding day, it all depends on you and how you treat the girl. 

Now to  make everything consistent you have to change things up a bit, women are creatures who love change while men love stability. Don’t do everything in one week and give her something to look forward to long term like a trip to somewhere. 

Also give her short term projects like taking a class together or giving her a new hobby. I once got a girlfriend of mine into looking up new sex positions for once to try. 

Keep having sex with your girlfriend every time you see her, this will make her continuously VALUE sex with you. She will look forward to it especially when you see her just a couple times a week. As a result it will give her time to miss you. 

You must be a challenge for her, when there’s no challenge the relationship is destined to fail.

If you’re going to celebrate holidays choose carefully which ones you’ll celebrate and when because if you go big on Valentine’s Day one year she’ll expect it next year. However, if don’t make a big deal out of the holidays she won’t be expecting anything.  

This is why consistency with a girlfriend is the hardest because it’s someone you actually want to have around for a long term. This is why you must continually seek to learn new things about her and have a plan for your relationship. 

This is why I try to avoid us meeting each other’s family from a the first six months to 1 year. It gives the relationship time to grow and for you two to get use to each other. As result she’ll want to spend time with you and value you as a strong, sexy, boyfriend.

How to Avoid Drama From Women (and Set the Right Expectations in Your Relationships)

In closing no matter if a girl is your friend, lover, girlfriend or all three in the case of a girlfriend you want to make sure you set the right expectations in the beginning. When you do that you take out a good chuck of drama and you can enjoy your relationship. 

You want to avoid girls who don’t add anything to your life and want to take advantage of you. When a girl doesn’t make the cut for your team, you need to cut her loose. 

Make sure when you have a female friend she doesn’t affect your options, and when you’re a lover you have LOADS of options.  

When you have a girlfriend keep being a sexy challenge for her, so that she knows she still has to work to have and keep you.

– Just Dave

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