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How Making Gradual Progress With Women Helps if You Are Shy

shynessI used to be extremely shy with women all the way up to my University years.

I used to get nervous and panicky if I was ever left in a room with a woman whether it being at school or somewhere else.

“What should I say next?”

“How should I act?”

“What if she thinks I’m weird?”

Many questions similar to these used to pop up in my mind whenever I was talking to women.

I did not know how to act around women because I never used to have much experience with talking to them in the past.

If you are like me and talking to women is a hard task, then here are some tips and pointers to help you become more social and relaxed around women.

First of all, ask yourself, “Why do I get so nervous and shy around women?”

I understand that it may be easy to talk to less attractive women, but why do you get so nervous when you’re around beautiful women?

Ask yourself that and try to find out the reason why.

What makes a beautiful woman different from an average looking woman?

Why does a beautiful woman make you so shy and nervous all of a sudden?

My answer for this was that I had formed a scarcity based mindset about women.

For me personally, I believed that beautiful women were a rare species and that if I messed up my chance with ONE beautiful woman, I will never find another beautiful woman elsewhere.

I was putting everything on the line to impress these attractive women because I felt that they were so rare that I only had ONE chance.

This is why I always asked myself what to say, how to act and how to impress these attractive women because I believed that if I lost my chance, then it would be rare to find another woman out there to attract.

I was acting out of desperation and my thoughts shaped my actions, and this made me appear nervous.

To have a scarcity mindset with women made me believe that there were not enough of them out there, and that’s why I used to get extremely shy and nervous because I felt like it was my ONLY chance.

To change this, I started to believe that there was an abundance of beautiful women out there and if I blew my chance with ONE, then there would always be another attractive woman somewhere else.

I used to say whatever was on my mind and talked about anything because I knew that I had nothing to lose and that even if I did screw up, there’s more out there.

As a result, my conversations became more relaxed and smooth because I did not care if she didn’t “like” me.

If a woman does not like you, then wouldn’t it be better to go off and find another woman that actually appreciates you?

Dr. Seuss said, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” This applies to women and everyone else in your life.

After you start believing this, start making gradual progress with talking to women.

Go to a store and ask an attractive woman what the price of an item etc. There are many ways to start small.

For example, you can also ask attractive women what the time is and then say thanks and leave. Once you start getting comfortable with these small tasks, start moving on to meeting women and asking them questions and learning more about them.

Remember, the only reason I was shy around women was that I used to believe that gorgeous women were rare and so this made me act desperate with the need to impress.

When I started to believe that there was more than enough beautiful women out there, I became more relaxed and was more comfortable with rejection.

To me, physical appearance plays a small role in my decision of what woman I want in my life. The major aspect I am looking for is a woman who has the same mindset as me and has goals and dreams of her own that she is trying to pursue.

Until next time,

Perry Keith

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