Don't Give Her Too Much Attention
I used to give women LOADS of attention before that just led to them running away from me, metaphorically speaking.
While on the other hand, my friend who had a girlfriend did not give much attention to new women he met, and it seemed that some women actually became attracted to him.
I don’t know whether it was the whole forbidden fruit principle or that he gave women the right amount of attention or whatnot.
Then there’s me, a guy who used to SMOTHER women with attention because I felt the need to have someone in my life to make me feel happy. I was far from right.
When I did get a girlfriend, I was happier in the short run but all my own problems had resurfaced after a while.
I used to believe that if I got a girlfriend, all my personal problems would disappear, and this was certainly not true in my case.
I had put a condition on my happiness, and that condition was to get a girlfriend first in order to finally become happy. Many people put conditions on their happiness such as to become rich first and then be able to experience happiness.
Anyways, I used to message women constantly! If the conversation ended one day, I would start texting them again the next day! At first they were fine with it, but then they just stopped talking to me or giving me one worded answers.
I learned from all of my mistakes, and I learned that one should balance the amount of attention they give to women.
The stuff I am talking about is what would happen BEFORE a relationship, because if you’re in a serious relationship, I don’t know whether giving too much attention would be fine or whatnot.
Some women become overly attached once they get into a relationship, constantly asking your whereabouts and constantly wanting you to hang out with them instead of having a night out with your boys.
To be honest, I wanted that type of relationship when I was younger because I wanted to feel that a girl loved me and always wanted to hang out with me.
When I did get a girlfriend, I felt like I just wanted some alone time and some time with my buddies just to chill out for once.
Anyways, I made the mistake of giving women too much attention because I had a scarcity mindset with women. I believed that beautiful women were a rare resource, and so I had only ONE chance to win their approval.
This meant that I had to constantly give them attention and make them get to know me as much as possible, and the opposite happened.
I thought that if I gave them LOT’S of attention, they would slowly start getting ATTRACTED to me. However, this does not work all the time and I definitely noticed that it rarely worked in my situation.
The answer to this is using a push and pull technique.
This technique basically says that you have to at first give lots of attention to women, trying to know more about them and let them do all the talking.
Once you see that they start getting attracted to you, and sometimes they don’t which is fine as you can just move on to another woman, then you start showing signs of disinterest.
Some signs of disinterest is to not talk to them for a while and let them text you first. I have done this before, and sometimes women just won’t text you back regardless.
This technique works more efficiently if the woman is interested in you in the first place, which could be from your body language and confidence.
Most women LOVE talking about themselves, their passions, hobbies etc.
I am a naturally curious person and so I try to get them to talk about themselves and I try to dig deeper into why they are so passionate about something or such as why they love to play a certain kind of sport.
I try to get to the story behind what they talk about, and I feel like it creates a better connection between us. I also try to relate her stories with mine as it helps up to build rapport.
I do not do this on purpose just to get in their pants, I am naturally curious about people I meet and if it does lead to something more then that’s fine with me.
The moral of this lesson is to not smother women with attention.
I used to have a scarcity mentality with women and that’s why I wanted to give them ALL of my attention because I felt like I would NEVER meet another attractive woman ever.
I love to meet new people and if I do meet a woman and get her number, I would go out on a date with her and give her lots of attention in the beginning by finding out more about her and doing all of the listening.
If she starts asking me questions about myself then I will start opening up as well as it creates a connection.
Then I would balance my attention and talk to her after a few days instead of a few hours like I used to do before.
If she does like you, she will find the time to talk to you and ask questions about yourself as well.
Continue reading here: How to Use Push-Pull to Get Women Attracted to You
Was this article helpful?
Readers' Questions
-
Robinia2 months ago
- Reply
-
teodros2 months ago
- Reply
-
Ausonio2 months ago
- Reply
-
Jeffrey1 year ago
- Reply
-
Quartilla1 year ago
- Reply
-
Katharina Busch1 year ago
- Reply
-
pervinca chubb1 year ago
- Reply
-
inaaya1 year ago
- Reply
-
ollie1 year ago
- Reply
-
zachary1 year ago
- Reply
-
lea1 year ago
- Reply
-
kaarina1 year ago
- Reply
-
sophia1 year ago
- Reply