7 Advantages of a Monogamous Relationship That Can Make You a Better Man
The moment a sexually frustrated guy hears the first time about the seduction community and realizes that there are unlimited resources that offer him advice on how to approach, date, seduce and have sex with girls, his entire world changes forever.
Maybe you have already experienced this shift in reality, maybe you are about to experience it by reading a few more articles about this topic.
No matter how a guy first hears about the art of seduction and no matter when he seduces his first girl, in 99% of the cases he will end up with more confidence and the wish to have more women in his life.
The answer is pretty simple: Because he can.
This development leads to the fact that most young guys who want to become successful seducers aim for a lifestyle with a never ending stream of fresh pussy that includes a lot of casual sexual experiences with plenty of different women. Many guys think that only countless experiences with different women can provide them with enough practice to master the art of seduction.
In some aspects this is true. You can’t become confident with approaching girls unless you approach a few. You can’t know what type of women you want in your life unless you dated different types of women.
However… by constantly having short-term sexual experiences and avoiding long-term relationships, you miss out on a lot of advantages that might help you grow and develop in a much broader context.
Let’s talk about the seven main advantages of a monogamous relationship that can make you a better man.
1. Sexual Skills
Despite the misbelief that having sex with a lot of women makes you a great lover, the opposite is true.
Of course it is better for your sexual skills to have sex with a lot of women than to have no sex at all but if you have to choose between a couple of one night stands or a three month long relationship in which you only have sex with one woman, I would choose the relationship if I were you.
It is true that you gain a lot of sexual experience and you learn how different women react to the way you caress, kiss and fuck them, if you have many sexual partners but if you want to reach sexual mastery there is no way around having sex at least more than ten times with the same woman. In every healthy relationship you should reach that number quite fast.
Now, why is it better for your ability as a lover to have repeated sexual adventures with one person than to fuck everything that moves?
First of all, you are most likely very nervous when you have sex with a girl for the first time. Maybe I am wrong and you are totally cool when you see a girl naked for the first time but in my experience, I am more nervous when I have sex with a girl the first time than I am at the second or third time.
This and the fact that your arousal level is automatically higher when you are about to stick your penis in a woman you have never touched before, can lead to a very short sexual experience. In addition to that you don’t know what the girl likes and what she doesn’t like when you sleep with her for the first time. Therefore it is hard to react on her sexual desires. You can’t fuck every girl the exact same way.
In terms of sex skills you can’t deny the advantages of a relationship. By having sex with the same girl over and over again, you lose your nervousness, you know exactly what she likes and you hopefully have a connection that is based on trust and honesty, which makes it pretty easy to share your sexual desires with her and to immerse into the experience without being in your head all the time. The high chance of becoming a great love is one of the most important advantages of a monogamous relationship.
2. Learn to Love
I know it sounds cheesy but bear with me for a second. Even if it is very popular in the seduction community to make fun of men who are in love and to describe them as needy beta males who should better have sex with hundreds of girls than to settle for one, love is actually an important part of a man’s life. At least it should be an important part of your life.
Just to make it clear, I am not talking about the never ending love that you have to prove by buying an expensive diamond ring for a girl you only know a few weeks while trying to please her in every possible way like a well-trained dog. I am not talking about that stupid cliché of love that is linked to drama, expensive presents, jealousy and a never ending fight. That’s not love, that’s bullshit.
Real love has nothing to do with all of this. To be in a relationship with a woman you love is one of the most beautiful things you can experience. You don’t have to be together with her for four years and marry her in order to love her. It doesn’t matter if you are only together for a week.
As long as the love is real this feeling will help you to understand your emotions better and it will change your view on women forever. By being in love you will automatically increase your affection and your respect for women, which eventually helps you to improve yourself as a man and to improve your relationship with women in general.
3. Lear to Cope with Your Emotions
When you first meet a girl you feel nervous and maybe a little bit suspicious because you don’t know what you can expect from her and what she expects from you. The moment you kiss her for the first time you feel excitement and this feeling of excitement skyrockets as soon as you undress her for the first time. Your first sex causes a lot of intense feelings and you don’t know if you are just happy because of the orgasm you had or if you start to fall in love with her.
Now you are in a relationship and you might get a little bit upset when she sits really close to other guys and the first time in your life you feel the fear of losing someone and the fear of being hurt by another person. You eventually lose this fear because you know that she really loves you and you develop a deep feeling of trust, connection and affection.
I listed quite a few emotions and you will most likely experience all of them during the ups and downs of a relationship. The ability you have to develop over the time is to cope with those emotions and to not let them rule you and your decisions.
Again, this aspect is important for your inner game and your personal development. To automatically learn how to cope with your emotions is one of the advantages of a monogamous relationship. When you learn to handle your emotions you also learn to handle your reactions to them. This increases your emotional intelligence and makes you more emotionally stable.
4. Get to Know the Real Woman
In case you think you get to know the real and authentic self of a woman you are just having sex with one or two times, I have to disappoint you. You most likely won’t get to know the real person if you only know her for a very short time. With “real woman” I not only mean the way she behaves but also the way she looks.
It is totally normal for men but especially for women to try to appear perfect, when they meet a person they are sexually interested in. Most men do this by acting like a dancing monkey and by trying to fulfil her every wish. More often than not this tactic doesn’t work. Women on the other hand do this by acting shy and reserved, dressing up nicely, using a seductive perfume and wearing a lot of make-up. More often than not this tactic works absolutely brilliant.
The only problem is that we men never really see the real self of a woman we are only dating for a short time. In order to get an understanding of women and to learn to appreciate and respect them as human beings and not as perfect plastic dolls, it is important to see all sides of a woman. This includes her running around in casual clothes and wearing no make-up. At the same time it includes her being grumpy and in a bad mood now and then, without smiling at you and pretending to be the happiest person on earth.
By getting to know a woman for what she really is, which is a human being who is far from perfect, your perception of women will change to the better and you will soon have a more authentic and real picture of them. A woman will most likely only reveal this authentic side to you, when you are in a monogamous relationship with her and when she really trusts you.
Getting to know the real woman is one of the advantages of a monogamous relationship.
5. Accept your own vulnerability
Even though the acceptance of your own vulnerability might sound like a weakness instead of a helpful behavior, it is actually one of the advantages of a monogamous relationship. You might think that you are a beta male and a weak pussy if you are vulnerable but the opposite is true. The guys who admit that they are vulnerable and who accept this fact are the guys who are confident enough to show the world their authentic self.
Now, why do you need to be together with a girl to learn to accept your vulnerability as one of the advantages of a relationship?
To be honest, you don’t need to be together with a girl to accept your vulnerability but due to the fact that a monogamous relationship forces you to deal with your vulnerable side, you are more likely to learn to accept it. You might be able to hide your vulnerability when you only see a girl for a few times to have sex with her but it is much harder to hide it when you are in a monogamous relationship with a girl you open up more and more to.
It is normal that you are vulnerable when you are 100% authentic towards another person and that’s exactly what you should be in a relationship. Even if you pretend to be the toughest guy in the world who can’t be hurt by anything, she will sooner or later find out who you really are. Don’t even start to pretend. Accept your vulnerability and accept who you really are…a human being.
6. Rethink the Paradigm of the Seduction Community
In case you are an active member of the seduction community and you love to spend your time with posting on several PUA forums, you have probably heard a lot of bad things about long-term relationships. For the PUAs among you, I am talking about LTRs. There is an ominous expression in the seduction community that describes being in love with a girl as “one-it-is” that is nothing else than a diseases you have to cure yourself from as fast as possible.
How do you do that?
You heal yourself by having sex with a lot of women and by avoiding at all cost to end up in a relationship with the girl who infected you with one-it-is. For many PUAs it is simply incomprehensible how there can be any advantages of a monogamous relationship at all. All they need to do is to rethink the paradigm of the seduction community.
Because you are reading this article I assume that you are an intelligent man (or woman) and that you already realized that something about this whole relationships are evil theory can’t be quite right. The best way to prove to yourself that one-it-is is nothing else than a stupid invention from insecure men who were too attached to keep a girl they were attracted to and too arrogant to accept their wrong behaviour.
One of the advantages of a relationship is that being together with another woman gives you the opportunity to rethink the paradigm of the seduction community and to come to the conclusion that it can be very beautiful to concentrate on only one woman for a certain amount of time.
7. What do YOU really Want?
For me the most important of all the advantages of a monogamous relationship that I have listed is that being in a relationship shows you what you really want in life. You might think that the only thing you want to do in life is to live a bachelor lifestyle and to have sex with a different girl every week. Maybe you are absolutely right and that’s really what you want…but what if not?
The only way to find out if you are interested in a long-term relationship or if you are not interested in being together with one girl is to experience being in a monogamous relationship.
Of course you can read articles that list reasons to be in a monogamous relationship and you can read articles that list reasons NOT to be in a monogamous relationship in order to get a deeper understanding of the topic but at the end of the day only YOUR OWN experience matters.
No one else can tell you if it is best for you to end up as a single guy chasing girls every day or if you end up in a monogamous relationship with one special girl.
You are the one who choses how your life looks like in the future and the best way to find out how you want it to look like is to experience different scenarios.
The most important of the seven advantages of a monogamous relationship is the ability to find an answer to the question “what do I really want?”
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