5 Tips For Overcoming Your Fears

Overcoming Your Fears

Simple Fact…

We all have our own individual fears.

It absolutely does not matter who you are, there is something that even the thickest of skin cannot resist.

Something that gets your heart racing a million miles per hour just to think about.

A fear that sends floods of anxiety throughout your entire body leaving you feeling so paralyzed that you almost feel sick.

Can you think of that fear?

I don’t mean just identify it, I mean really picture yourself totally immersed in it. You’ll know you have it because you’ll start to feel uncontrollable shakiness inside yourself, you’ll start to feel stress searing throughout your entire body originating from your core.

These fears fill you with so much apprehension that it seems like the thought of even trying to overcome them is insanely, ridiculously, stupidly, 100% IMPOSSIBLE/NEVER GONNA HAPPEN. It seems like it is with total certainty that you will ALWAYS be afraid of this thing, whatever it is.

The interesting thing about fear is that it stems from one of the most powerful areas of your body, an area that, if you let it, will run your entire life and leave you a slave to it. And that particular area is your mind.

Sounds pretty damn terrifying right?

Well fortunately for you, I love helping others destroy their fears so let’s get to it.

What Terrifies You The Most?

So now what are you most afraid of at this point in your life?

  • Going to a bar by yourself?
  • Eating out at a restaurant by yourself?
  • Walking around a park by yourself?
  • How about approaching and admitting your sexual interest in a beautiful girl in front of her friends in the daytime?
  • Maybe it is approaching a group of girls sitting down at a packed restaurant?
  • Maybe it is flirting with a super cute cashier while other people are in line waiting and focusing ALL of their attention on your interaction with her. Then some guy in the back says “Hey pal, go get a room…we ain’t got all day!”

So maybe your fear isn’t with women. Maybe you have that down. Okay, how about…

  • Singing in your car when there are other people around who can see you or hear you. (Sounds silly right? But I bet you stop and put on your straight serious face don’t ya?)
  • Maybe it is holding a tarantula?
  • Going skydiving?
  • Telling your boss that YOU WANT a raise? Or telling him/her that you don’t agree with a decision that they’ve made?
  • Maybe giving a high five to a complete stranger?
  • Taking some sort of group class that you’ve always wanted to but the thought of doing it with total strangers?
  • Maybe it’s just those pesky clowns that strike fear in you?

I don’t care how many fears you have, what they are, or how deathly, impossibly terrifying each one is. Today I’m going to share a few tips on how you can go about tackling ALL of them and finally overcome every one of your fears.

Tips For Overcoming Your Fears

Disclaimer: The pace at which you choose to absolve your fears is entirely up to you. Just note that those who are more active about it will conquer more fears in a less amount of time, however that means putting yourself way out there a lot more frequently, becoming super vulnerable (especially in front of others), and consistently living on the edge. For example, if you have a fear of approaching women and you are very self-conscious in front of groups of strange people in general, then you can take it upon yourself to approach a girl on a really busy street or in a busy mall or in line at a store, where ever there are cute girls and lots of people.

However a lesson I’ve always been taught is to never bite off more than you can chew. So if you feel like you are super overwhelmed because you are not able to gather quite enough courage to conquer multiple fears at once, then that’s definitely okay. Don’t stress, and do not put so much pressure on yourself. Go at your pace, maybe 1 fear a month, 1 fear a week, or 1 fear a day; whatever you’re comfortable with. However this doesn’t mean that you can become lazy. This requires YOU to push yourself. No excuses.

And finally, DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS. No one has been in your shoes, has lived your life, or has experienced the same things you have so therefore they cannot understand your fears, and they cannot understand why the are fears to you and not them. Anyway, it doesn’t matter if they understand it or not, it is your challenge and yours alone to open a can of whoop ass on.

Now before we begin, I want you to write out some of your fears; 3-5 should be a good starting place. This is going to be our Fear Conquering To Do list.

So without further ado, here are a few tips that you can use along the way in your righteous path of decimating your fears.

Tip #1: Divide and Conquer

Try picking ONE fear to work on at a time and ONLY one (I’d personally do the “easiest” of them to start off with so we can build some positive fear crushing momentum, but this is entirely up to you). Why pick just one? Well let’s take getting better with women. The path to this goal is littered with potential fears – making eye contact, the approach, flirting, touching, escalation, and then sex. Oh yeah there is that rejection part, but that doesn’t phase us because rejection is a good thing remember?

However though not impossible to face them all at once, it is just easier to single out each of these fears and conquer them one by one. Continuous progression is the name of the game. First we make eye contact with women. Then perhaps we learn to make eye contact AND smile. Then we learn to approach with a smile. Now one by one, we build on each conquered fear until the sum of them (becoming successful with women) is overtaken by our unyielding will to succeed.

Tip #2: Conquer Fears With A Friend Or Family Member

When you conquer fears with someone as a team, you have someone to relate your struggles with, someone who will push you and encourage you, and most importantly, someone who will hold you accountable for your success and vice versa. Make sure it is a true friend who won’t act weak and condescending towards you by teasing you about your fears or who allows you to get away with procrastinating and being lazy about bettering yourself. We ain’t got time for that.

This strategy helps because when you face an obstacle as a team, you’re more likely to succeed because you have something to rally behind. You’re both fighting for the same thing together. Not to say that doing it on your own is impossible. On the contrary! It just takes a much stronger, more resilient man to follow through on his own and to hold himself accountable, to admit his failures, and to brush himself off and pick himself up.

The idea is that you both share your fears with each other. These are the fears that YOU ARE GOING TO CONQUER TOGETHER. This will force both of you to become accountable to each other and you don’t want to let yourself or your friend down right? Subconsciously, your friend acts as someone issuing you a challenge; the challenge being “are you man enough to conquer your fear?”. One thing’s for certain, men never back down from challenges. We rise to meet our challenges and we conquer them no matter what.

Then as soon as you both succeed with one fear, you move on to the next one together. You do not surpass your friend by conquering your fears quickly while he is still stuck on one. You should be helping each other succeed and grow in unison. This is not about racing each other or instilling competition between you. By building upon and encouraging each other, you will build a much stronger relationship and soon enough, you’ll both be feeding off of each others energy, motivation, and success, allowing you both to conquer your fears left and right as a team!

Tip #3: Force Yourself To Take Action Regardless

This one is interesting because it involves blocking or filtering all of those thoughts racing through your head and just forcing your physical body to do something, often times without considering the consequences. See a pretty girl? Your head says “Oh she’s probably got a boyfriend”, “she wouldn’t like me”, “I shouldn’t even try”. You recognize this is going on in your head, so you just force yourself to walk over and say “Hi, how’s your day going?”

By doing this, all of that nervousness in your head instantly shuts off and it forces you to LIVE IN THE PRESENT, and to FOCUS ON WHAT IS IN FRONT OF YOU, not what is going on inside your head.

A good example of this is when we stick our toes in a swimming pool to test how cold the water is. We’re really hesitant to just dive in because of that fear of a freezing rush over our bodies. The anticipation and hesitation starts building in our heads causing us to take our sweet time just to get into a pool of water.

Through our cautious human nature, we slowly stick our toes in, and then our foot, and then our leg, and inch by inch we get all the way in the pool. Now to counteract this nature, a demonstration of this tip is that you don’t test the pool water at all. You have no idea how cold it is but you are certain it is. You just know that you are about to face the unknown and you are going to face it ALL THE WAY. There is no all or nothing, just ALL. So you take the plunge and YOU FORCE YOURSELF to simply run and jump in! This is hands down what taking massive action looks like.

Tip #4: Commit To Success and Commit With A Time Constraint

Commit to conquering your fear and commit to conquering it in a given time frame – either today, tomorrow, this week, or this month; whenever it is, just totally commit and do so within a certain time. Don’t let laziness allow you to brush it off until later. Commit to a day and do it. Mark it on a calendar, tell a few people what you are going to do and commit. It feels uncomfortable when you start realizing that you are actually about to face this fear, but that is a good thing. It means you are nutting up, confronting your fear, going toe to toe with it, and you’re going to TKO that shit! By utilizing a time constraint, it adds a level of accountability and forces you to TAKE MASSIVE ACTION with NO EXCUSES.

Tip #5: Share Your Struggle With A Stranger

More times than not, people are going to be really supportive, uplifting, encouraging, and positive when you are real with them about your life. You can consider telling a complete stranger what you’re doing and even possibly ask for their help if it is appropriate to conquering your fear. This is called being authentic and true to yourself. For example, “Hey I am working on conquering one of my fears this week which is to genuinely compliment a really beautiful girl that I see, and now that I see you I wanted to tell you that you are SO insanely adorable!” You’ll get praise from others for stepping out of your comfort zone and you’ll feel loads better about yourself afterwards for the amount of balls that were needed to do what YOU just did!

Bonus Tip: View A Fear As A Challenge

This is something discussed frequently on this site. When you view a fear as a problem; a problem that you just can’t seem to solve, or as a massive life roadblock that you are unable to clear, the fear becomes thousands of times worse in YOUR mind than it truly is. It fills your head with so much negativity, doubt, and apprehension that you literally cannot take any action whatsoever because you assume an inevitable failure.

Instead, try viewing your fear as a challenge. Life is issuing you a challenge. Are you going to show life what’s up or are you going to let life win? We all have faced bazillions of challenges throughout our lives already, and look where we are now? Sure we’ve all failed over and over, but we’re still standing and we’re stronger than ever. With each new day comes new challenges faced and conquered. Sometimes we don’t even realize we are overcoming challenges because they do not register in our minds on the level of fear, just as an annoying task that has to get done by YOU and YOU ALONE.

When you see a cute girl, consider trying to view it as life dealing out a challenge; realize it, confront it, conquer it, and go talk to her! Next challenge please!

Wrapping It Up

Alright guys, there you have it! These are some tips to help you get started in crushing every challenge you face in life. Remember to not get discouraged or down on yourself. This isn’t something that is done over night and it is not a competition. It will take some time, a lot of balls, and even some failures, but who cares! That’s how we grow and improve ourselves! Really the underlying message about conquering and achieving anything you want is through taking massive action and pushing through no matter how awkward, anxious, and uncomfortable you are. Always keep pushing yourself.

From now on, when you see life issuing you a challenge, are you going to back down?

Didn’t think so.

Continue reading here: Spinning Plates and Dating Multiple Women

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